butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i jhust puked up my retainher.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize