it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
