butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
