I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
