either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
