mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
