I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
