Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
