I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Is it because I queefed?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
