i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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