I don't remember. Are we still dating?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize