whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
