well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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