Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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