My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
