There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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