I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
