Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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