good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
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