Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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