And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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