Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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