i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
