1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
