this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize