What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
