Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
