Midget sex pt 2 tonight
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
