I'm drive I can fine osifer
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Randomize