you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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