I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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