But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize