Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
