The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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