he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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