your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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