What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
