So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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