youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
