If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
