yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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