someone threw a dead crab at me
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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