i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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