I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
