Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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