i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
