I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
