Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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