If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We're like a lot better than the average bears
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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