did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
accomplished twins. life is a go
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Your penis caused this!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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