I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We're too hungover to prance.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
