I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize