I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
