The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize