I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
