Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
