Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
