what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
