9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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