you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
