spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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