I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
