Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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