are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
