So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize