Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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