did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You smell like stripper and shame
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
